grown ups, or not

My baby brother turns 21 on Sunday. That makes me feel old.
I am wracked with guilt over having to tell my mom when she asked that I couldn't visit this weekend. That makes me feel like a little kid.

My cousin, who is about the same age as my brother, is now old enough to have had to learn lots of lessons the hard way. She's a tough cookie, but I hate what she's had to go through because some thoughtless dirtbag took advantage of her kind nature and forgiving soul. This is where I step briefly on a soapbox because this makes me feel old, and tired, and angry. This is the same little girl I used to sign out of school to take her on a hayride to pick out her Halloween pumpkin, except now she's a woman and so far her experiences in her brief tenure as a grown-up make me want to just go back in time, kidnap her, and take her off to Antarctica to insulate her from ever learning the scarier truths of the adult world.

Physical assault is not acceptable, period.
Yes, I enjoy kickboxing, but only in a controlled environment with consenting adults who have all signed the waiver. Furthermore, while I don't negatively judge those who choose to compete in a martial art, I don't fight; I just train for the discipline, the workout, and the ability to defend myself.

If you are female, I highly suggest at least taking a basic self-defense class. My friend Chip, who teaches self-defense and rape prevention classes, outlines the reasons why here on the Bushido Judo School's website. Over the past couple of years, I've taken the intro class twice, along with more advanced classes focusing on defense against firearms, defense against edged weapons, ground fighting, and defense in confined spaces (elevators, cars, buses, etc.). If you have the opportunity, just take a class. What you'll walk away with is well worth the hour of your time and $15 or so in tuition.

If you're not in the Raleigh area, the Association for Women's Self Defense Advancement (formerly the American Women's Self Defense Association) offers a wealth of information for the United States, as well as Canada, Germany, the United Kingdom, and Zimbabwe. Note, I'm not getting any kickbacks for plugging AWSDA or those classes.

If you are male and you don't participate in violence against women, good on ya! Keep it up and don't tolerate it or joke about it. There's information on the above-named sites for you, too if you want to learn more and do more.

I suppose I should mention that I'm opposed to violence in general, not just when it concerns women. I think it's great if a guy says "I don't hit girls," but think it'd be better if he said, "I don't hit people." I don't think it's acceptable for a woman to assault a man for that matter, or another woman. I think if we all did just a little more to end violence in our own lives, the impact could be epic.