"The pleasure does not lie in the end itself. It is in the pleasurable steps to that end." - Hana-Ogi, played by Miiko Taka, in Sayonara (1957)
The above is one of my favorite lines, in one of my favorite movies of all time. The line actually sums up the movie itself, as well as my general philosophy for life and writing. What's the point in reading something if you're just waiting to get to the end? What's the point in living every day just to wait for it to be over?
This philosophy has led me to make some interesting decisions, with mixed results, both professionally and personally. I don't necessarily advocate that everyone should live with no regard for the future, but sometimes, it's good to let go and not worry so much about how it's going to turn out. I tend to start that story, even if I don't know how it ends yet. Sometimes, I finish it. Sometimes I won't. Either way, it takes my imagination to places it never would have gone otherwise, and maybe spawns some new ideas that are better than the original.
I've been somewhat nomadic in the past few years. I've lived in coastal Virginia, central North Carolina, Los Angeles, and western Scotland. Each of those moves was spurred by the promise that something was waiting for me in that new place - a job, friends, people to meet, places to see, experiences that couldn't be had anywhere else. In a very real sense, my life has been a journey, spanning several thousand miles, and with its fair share of both joys and disasters. If nothing else, I know I'm not going to look back on my life when it nears its inevitable conclusion and regret having never taken those chances. Of course, I could also find myself wishing I'd been more careful, but even writers don't get to outline and line-edit our own demises. I guess I'll just keep trying to make the steps toward that end as pleasurable as possible.
So far, I've learned to enjoy wearing high heels, despite being 6 feet tall without shoes on. I managed to finish college, earning a B.A. in English, despite so many people telling me I'd never make any money with that. I've amassed a diverse and brilliant corps of friends across the world. I've written and edited some great stuff, interviewed celebrities, and done a pretty eclectic mix of day jobs to pay the bills - everything from umpiring baseball to working on the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer campaign. I've found the love of my life, and I've figured out to get along with most of my family most of the time.
There's a long way to go yet. I still have to finish a novel or three, capture the elusive creature that is gainful, stable employment, and figure out what color my hair really should be. That's just the beginning, or rather, the beginning of the beginnings, since you're not going to find me wishing my life away any time soon.
