RT-Fest 2011

Hopefully, this will answer any questions you may have about what's been going on as a result of this Twitter post.

As many of you know, I got married last Sunday (YAY!).

See? Wedding party. Yes, I wore a black dress.

As at least some of you know, my husband (the blonde guy next to me) is from Scotland.

As a few of you know, marrying someone who is not a US citizen when you are a US citizen is nothing whatever like it is in the movies. I won't go into it all here, but I encourage you to check out the K-1 (fiancé(e)) and K-3 (spouse) visa sections at VisaJourney.com. You'll see guides on how to fill out the numerous forms required, support groups for coping with the stress and forced time apart, advice from people who have done it before, and a place to vent when it all just gets to be too much. It is an extremely long and expensive process that can take months or years and thousands of dollars.

Remember in Cheers when Woody's girlfriend Kelly had that French friend, Henri, who wanted Kelly to marry him so he could stay in America? Well, if it had been real life and Kelly had gone through with it, she would have faced 5 years of jail and Henri could have been permanently deported. It's considered a very serious type of fraud and the government doesn't take it lightly.

A few people have asked me recently, "but you're married - how can there be any more obstacles and fees?" Good question. The answer: Okay, so, the government gives K-1 visa holders 90 days from the day they enter the country to marry their American fiancé(e) and file what is called an Adjustment of Status to the Department of Homeland Security. Even if you follow that link, I really don't expect you to read through all of the government jargon, so in short, that is what changes a K-1 visa holder into a person who is allowed to stay in the US indefinitely. I knew that we would have to file this form, but for some reason, I thought we were done with the fees, since there have been SO many and have added up to SO much money, and I really thought that that part was overwith.

I learned just the other day how wrong I was. It turns out that the fee, which must accompany the Adjustment of Status form, is $1070. To some people, that's not a lot of money. To us, it is a fortune, and we just didn't have it. Failing to file that form and pay that fee, however, would mean that Fraser's visa would expire and he would have to exit the country until we had re-filed and gone through a whole new process.

The thought of that happening was exhausting and scary, so I posted to Twitter that if enough people bought photos from our Etsy shop, that would help us raise the money we need to pay the fee. You know what I thought would happen after I posted that? I thought a handful of personal friends would buy something and say they hoped it would work out. When I saw people start to retweet my post, I was touched. When people kept retweeting it, I was overcome with thanks that for at least a few seconds, complete strangers as well as amazing friends cared. When I woke up the next morning to see that Neil Gaiman had retweeted it, I was truly gobsmacked. A few people have asked me how I "got him to do it," and the answer is that I didn't. He must follow someone who posted it and then felt compelled to share.

Whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, that had a massive impact. About half of the sales we have made have been a result of Mr. Gaiman's retweet. As it stands now, we're more than halfway to our goal and our outlook is much sunnier.

Unfortunately, some of the people who have been kind enough to help out have taken some flack. I understand that there are people who (rightly) do not believe everything they read on the Internet and (also rightly) do not automatically assume that everyone is honest. The comments from those people, who simply want some indication that I'm a real person and this isn't all just some marketing ploy, I don't take personally. There have been a few, however, who seem to have come from generally unhappy and/or angry people, who have accused me of engaging in emotional blackmail to compel innocent people to buy something they neither need nor want. One even used the word "larceny" to describe what they saw as an elaborate scam.

To that, I can only say this: every purchase was made by an adult with free will. Also, I never asked anyone to retweet anything. As I said, I thought a few people I already know might help out by either buying something or telling that friend of theirs who just bought a house where they might get some art to hang on their new walls. That kind people chose to retweet and ask their friends and followers to help was an unexpected bonus and a real, tangible help. I hate that their good deeds have been punished by harsh words.

Contest (CLOSED): Win an Original Piece of Art from StreetSpirit Photography!

***UPDATE***  The contest is now closed. We have a winner! The lovely Nikki has correctly identified this as a photo of rocks and snow! She has chosen "The Doctor Is In" as her prize. 

In honor of it being only a week until Fraser makes the move to this side of the Atlantic, I've decided to have a contest!

Look closely:



The first one of you to identify what this is a picture of, by either commenting here or sending me a tweet @BaronessHeather wins the item of your choice currently listed in Fraser's Etsy shop. All photos were taken by Fraser and will be professionally printed off-site on professional-grade paper. The prize does NOT include matting and framing. You will win a print and only a print. I will contact the winner to get your mailing address and to determine which print you would like.

The contest will end when there's a winner. You may guess up to 2 times: once on Twitter, and once by commenting on this blog post. If you guess on Twitter, you MUST follow me, because I will need to be able to DM you to get your details if you win, and Twitter does not allow DM's to people who do not follow you.

Update: Please do not post your personal email addresses in the blog comments. I don't want you to get spam!

Muppets Doing the Dance of Joy to Vince Guaraldi (and a cupcake recipe)

I was awakened this morning to a phone call from Fraser. I answered and heard, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" and then the call dropped.

A minute later, as I sat up and basically blinked a lot, trying to figure out what the hell was going on, the phone rang again. Imagine trying to extract information from a Muppet, say Grover, on a massive caffeine high and you'll get a vague idea of the first minute of that call. The next minutes, after I realized that he was telling me that he'd heard from the embassy and his visa interview is next Monday, it was straight up Dance of Joy time!

It's so surreal that after all the months of delays and waiting and starting to lose hope, it's finally happening, and with one week's notice! In case you're just tuning in, we first applied for Fraser's fiancé visa last year, so he can emigrate. The interview is the final step in this extremely frustrating, redundant, and expensive process. By most accounts, this is practically a formality, as they tend to weed out the frauds, terrorists, and human traffickers before it gets to this stage. He will be told on the spot if the visa is granted, and then the actual paperwork will be couriered to him within a few days. As soon as those papers are in his hand, he can get on a plane! Once he's here, we have to get married within 90 days, but don't ask me for details about that just now. One thing at a time!

In homage to my Scottish boy being soon on his way, I made some Irn-Bru cupcakes to take to a gaming night tonight. If you're not familiar with Irn-Bru, it's an orange-colored soft drink that tastes something like Juicy Fruit gum. It's made in Scotland from a recipe that is allegedly so secret that the president of the company himself personally mixes every batch of concentrate and will only grant access to to the recipe to his successor when he retires. I've heard it hailed as the ultimate hangover cure and condemned as a danger to children because of its high sugar and caffeine content. It took me a while to acquire a taste for it, and now, while I couldn't drink it all the time, it's good for a treat now and then. I'm lucky enough to have a great British (yes, Britain includes Scotland) grocery shop in town, so I picked up some Irn-Bru. There IS one tiny difference between the Irn-Bru imported from Scotland, and the Irn-Bru made by the American distributor. One of the coloring agents used in the Scottish original is banned by the FDA. However, two points are worth noting: 1. I've had both and there is no noticeable difference in taste (unless you ask a Scot), and 2. at least at my local shop, you can buy both versions. Look on the label, and if the ingredients list includes "Ponceau 4R," it's the original. Here is a list of places you can buy Irn-Bru in the USA. If you decide to try it, let me know what you think! I'm always curious for reactions to this stuff, especially since it'll be appearing in some form at my wedding, possibly in these cupcakes.

Now, as promised, here's the recipe! These give just a hint of the Irn-Bru flavor, which is boosted by the citrus zest or extracts, and the vanilla.

You need:

1 cup Irn-Bru
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 TBSP corn starch
3/4 tsp baking POWDER
1/2 tsp baking SODA
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup vegetable oil (or 1/2 cup softened butter, but that'll mask the Irn-Bru flavor, and it's only a hint to begin with)
1 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
1-2 tsp orange zest OR 1/2 tsp orange extract (real, not imitation)
1-2 tsp lemon zest OR 1/2 tsp lemon extract (again, seriously: real, not imitation)
12 cupcake wrappers

Steps:

1. Preheat oven to 350 F and line a muffin tin with the cupcake wrappers.
2. Combine oil & sugar. I used a stand mixer with paddle attachment, but a wooden spoon or hand mixer works just as well.
3. Add the egg and extracts. Beat until thoroughly combined and has a smooth consistency. 
4. Mix the dry ingredients in a separate bowl. No, it's not fine if you don't do this and just dump it in with the wet. Trust me.
5. This is where the stand mixer is really your friend: Add a little Irn-Bru to the wet mixture, then alternate adding dry mix with Irn-Bru until you've used it all and the consistency is mostly smooth. There will be a few lumps, and you might think the batter looks too runny, but it's okay. It's supposed to look like that.
6. Fill each cup of the prepared tin NO MORE THAN 3/4 FULL. Seriously, if you have batter left over, start a second pan (just fill any empty cups with water), do some individual cakes if you have freestanding cups, or something, but DO NOT OVERFILL THOSE CUPCAKES! If you do, it's not my fault when they overflow, run together, burn on the edges, and sink in the middle. 
7. In my oven, it took 22 minutes for them to bake perfectly, but check them at 20 minutes. If a toothpick inserted in the center of one of the middle ones comes out clean, they're done, even if they look a bit wet on top (they're just on the shiny side).
8. Let them cool completely before frosting. I topped mine with justJENN's whipped cream frosting (though I used regular granulated sugar instead of brown sugar).

Passing the Horror Check

This week has been pretty stressful. It hasn't been all bad, but it's had me preoccupied and made it difficult to retain a lot of things I should have been paying attention to. I'm dimly aware that one friend got a new exciting job, another broke up with someone, and others have had various joys and stresses. I've failed to call a friend I reconnected with, after I said I'd call. I forgot to confirm plans for tomorrow until my friend contacted me, wondering if we were still on. I've barely gotten any work done, I answered almost no email, and any non-essential projects have just been shoved aside. I feel terrible about these things, but at the same time, I was stressed out and useless for a reason.

You may be aware that my fiancé is in the process of emigrating here, and as part of that process, he had to go through a routine medical exam. After he got home, I got a phone call that terrified me more than anything has in recent memory. The x-ray showed that there could be something seriously wrong with him. There were two obvious things to be worried about here, and we each took one. While I was having these horrible visions of his health failing, he was raging at how this is causing delays, meaning we'll have to be on separate continents longer.

The good news is, he's had another visit to a doctor, who has given him a clean bill of health. This is the important thing to focus on. I am now so acutely aware of how much worse things could be right now. The disappointing news is that because the first x-ray turned out to be invalid, he's got to make more appointments and wait, and wait, and wait for things to be processed and submitted and gotten to the right departments at last. We're not sure yet how long a delay we're looking at, but I'm coming to terms with the likelihood that our wedding plans will need to change and it'll be longer that he's so far away.

At the end of the day, though, I can't be too depressed about that. He's okay. He's not sick or injured. I can breathe again, and sleep, and think about things other than how I'll scrape up airfare to get to him and all the various ways our life would turn nightmarish and overwhelming. I'm so relieved that now I'm having a hard time focusing on anything but how relieved I am. Sure, I'm disappointed, and it hurts to think that it could be more weeks or months we'll be apart, but before the disappointment can really set in, I think about how it won't matter in the long run, because he's okay. It was just a false alarm. We won the luck check, too, and instead of having to fight a tentacle monster, we're just delayed in another dimension a little longer before we can get home.

To everyone who gave me bonuses to armor and courage by offering reassurance, distraction, or other kind words, whether they came in the form of a tweet, a Facebook comment, a text, phone call, or instant message, thank you. You helped me stay just this side of functional. There are a lot of really good people out there, who still offer to chat or try to cheer you up, even if they don't know you that well, and that's one hell of a silver lining to a stressful situation.

Some Wedding Stuff and Where to Get Reproduction Fashion

I've been trying to strike a balance between letting myself express the excitement and happiness I feel because of my impending wedding, and not wanting to be annoying and be one of those women who babble endlessly about it and can't ever seem to talk about anything else. I know my friends are lovely and supportive, but it would annoy me if I caught myself doing it. Therefore, I haven't blogged every single detail, but I have been having fun talking about dresses, and in discussing that topic, I've been made aware of some amazing websites and want to pass them on.

Love it, but a mis-match

The Internet is such a wonderful invention. Sometimes, I think it's mostly a tool for all the jerks who would normally just spew nonsense to their cronies in some bar or meeting to in instead post them in comments, but thankfully, it also lets people keep in touch and find others who like the same things. From Beth, Chia, Theresa, and Nina, I've had this whole world of retro and reproduction fashion opened up to me and have in turn shared it with a few others who also got excited about it.

I'd already heard of and browsed through Mod Cloth, but didn't find anything in my size that really interested me. I'm 6' tall and not a toothpick. Luckily, where I was ignorant of where else to look, others are expert! First, Theresa told me about Trashy Diva. I really like the look of some of the dresses there, but the prices, while not unreasonable, put them out of my budget. Still, they were a lot of fun to look at, and I have bookmarked it for a future date when I can afford to expand my wardrobe.

Chia then told me about Stop Staring!, which is when I started really getting excited. These dresses are not only gorgeous, but I got sticker shock in a good way! After hearing Nina's glowing reviews of the fit and quality of the dresses she's gotten from there, including her own wedding dress, it's really surprising to me that the average price of the ones I really liked was only about $150. In fact, the dress I'd originally decided was going to be my wedding dress is a Stop Staring! style. As much as I love it , I ultimately had to admit that it's a mis-match to what Fraser is going to be wearing, and I'm really looking forward to seeing him in his new kilt and the more formal rig to go with it.

Fraser will be in something like this

In choosing a dress, it's also important to me that the dress is one I can wear again. I'm just not interested in spending a bunch of money on something I'll either have to give away, re-sell at a loss, or allow to gather dust in my closet for the rest of my life. Plus, I think it'll be nice to wear it again and remember the first time I wore it. 

Oh, and I don't want to wear white. I'm not going to post a picture of it here just yet, but the dress I've now chosen is actually black, and I think it's perfect. At first, I was a little

worried about what people might think or say if I wore a black dress, but then I saw pictures of Nina in her black wedding dress, and man, that is a classy look. Not to mention, if anyone's going to be rude enough to say anything negative about my attire at my wedding, then that'll only reflect badly on them, not on me. I found the dress I will be ordering at Unique Vintage, which Beth pointed me to after learning that I liked the styles from Stop Staring! and Trashy Diva, as she wore a Trashy Diva dress to her own wedding, along with having some other pieces in her wardrobe. She also sent me to Daddy-o's, which I've bookmarked for future reference as well.

Black & White MacFarlane Tartan

The dress I chose is a 50's reproduction, and while it's black, it's not just flat black, and it does have some adornment that makes it a little fancier. It'll also need a crinoline, and Fraser and I decided that it'll be fun if we get my crinoline and his cravat in the same color. He'll also be mostly in black, largely because his new kilt is being made in his black and white clan tartan. That way, we each get to wear a little color and inject some more fun and personality into the whole look. While we're not planning an overly lavish or large affair for the wedding, we'll be happy with what we're wearing and what will be in the pictures we'll get to have forever. 

Now, what I really need are shoes, and I keep being taunted by ads for John Fluevog's designs. If anyone knows where to score a pair of those on the cheap, that'd be great. If I could afford them, I'd totally be wearing these or  these.

Life, the Universe, and Homemade Nachos (Vegetarian, Gluten-Free)

If you're a regular visitor here, you've noticed that I've sort of gotten out of the habit of blogging. It's one of those things where life has been so eventful that I just don't know where to start. I'm hoping that this will get the ball rolling again, but it will unfortunately involve just listing, probably in an excruciatingly boring manner, the stuff I'd have blogged about if I'd taken time to when it was new. For your trouble, I'll also share the recipe for some nachos I just made, which made Sam declare they were better than any she'd ever had in a restaurant.
So, the news:

• The petition for Fraser's visa was approved near the beginning of the month. Hooray! That's the first hurdle done. He has to go to London in a few weeks for a medical exam (after filling out umpteen more forms and waiting for a couple of other things to process), after which the embassy will schedule his final interview, after which they will at last issue his visa and he'll be able to come over here for good.
• One outcome of the above is that we will be getting married within 90 days of his entry into the USA. The tentative date we've set is May 21, but I can't stress enough that that's tentative. We just can't make solid plans yet without knowing when his final interview is. We're planning a fairly small affair, knowing that hiked travel prices and worldwide financial issues will prevent many people from making the trip. Still, those who attend will be treated to homemade goodies, music, and fun on the theme of "stuff we like." So far, that includes Willy Wonka, Doctor Who, and Star Wars, but expect that list to grow. Fraser will sport a snazzy new kilt, and I have no clue what I'll be wearing. That is, until the costume party bit, where we're encouraging Scottish/American character mashups.
• I am back in the USA now, as of 2 weeks ago Wednesday. It's weird, and it has its ups and downs, and of course I miss Fraser, and of course I'm glad to see family and friends again.
• I'm actively looking for a decent job. I have a couple of leads to follow up, but no news there yet.
• Before leaving Scotland, I got to see more of the country, including Aberdeen and the northeastern coast, along the North Sea, including Pennan, where the movie Local Hero was filmed. I'll be posting pictures from that trip as part of a forthcoming article on Pop Bunker, so stay tuned for that. I did post reviews of a lot of the places I visited on Yelp, so if you're interested, you can see those here.
• I've brought on a new batch of writers at Pop Bunker, so hopefully things will pick up there and get fun again.
• I'm going to be writing more for the Geek Girls Network, once I get my posting credentials, so look for me there too.
• Supersecret project I can't tell you about yet goes here.
• More stuff I've forgotten and may get to later goes here.

Now, for the nachos! I was just feeling snacky, but didn't want anything sweet, so I raided the kitchen to see what all we had. There was a package of corn tortillas. There was one tomato, some onions, some dried cilantro, some lime juice, some garlic powder, some ancho chili powder, and a nearly-full bag of shredded cheddar cheese. Therefore: Nachos!

Use a pizza cutter to cut a stack (don't ask me how many - about 1/4 of the package) of small corn tortillas into quarters. Spray some Pam (I used the organic canola variety) into a gallon-sized ziploc bag. Dump in the tortillas & sprinkle in some garlic powder & ancho chili powder. Zip shut, shake like crazy til evenly(ish) coated. Spread on cookie sheets. Bake at 400F for 5-10 minutes (crispy but not burnt). You might have to check them pretty frequently. Throw away the ones that burned because you weren't checking frequently enough.

While the chips bake, dice up a tomato & a bit of onion (less onion than tomato). Mix in a bowl with a bit of cilantro, a dash of salt, and several generous squeezes of lime juice.

When the chips are done, switch the oven from bake to broil. Spread a layer of chips on an oven-safe plate. Top with shredded cheese and 1/3 of the salsa, making sure you get some of each on every chip (because those dry, bendy chips at the bottom of a plate of restaurant nachos are just nasty). Lay more chips on top and top with more cheese & salsa. Repeat one more time until you've used everything up.

Pop in the oven for just a minute or two, to get the cheese all nice and melty.

Remove with an oven mitt, bring to the table, and warn your friends that the plate is hot!

The Metal Tiger's Last Hurrahs

This is the last week of the Chinese year of the Metal Tiger. That worthy animal has been something of a totem since it was born last Feb. 14th. Its time will be done on the 5th, but as one might expect from a tiger - an animal of action and strength, it is going out not quietly into that good night, but with many mighty roars to call the universe to action.

What the hell is this chick babbling about? you may be asking, and you'd be well within your rights to tell me to just spit out the facts. 

Since yesterday:

Fraser and I celebrated 1 year since we met, along with some early birthday cake, since we'll be out of town for Fraser's birthday on Friday.

We booked our trip up to Pennan, which is the fishing village on the North Sea where the movie Local Hero was filmed. That'll be this coming weekend, and we will definitely toast the Metal Tiger's passing with a pint of the Inn's reportedly-excellent ale.

I received notice yesterday that my short story Sick Weather will appear in the 100 Stories for Queensland anthology. This will be my first print publication in fiction. I'll post more information about the book, where and when you can order it, and how much it will cost when I know those things. Right now, I can only tell you that the proceeds from the sale will go to the Queensland Premier's Flood Relief appeal.

Today, I was notified by the US Citizenship and Immigration Services that our petition for Fraser's visa has been approved. This means that as far as the US government is concerned, he can emigrate. It's not quite finished yet, but we're getting there!

Recipe: Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Cinnamon & Crushed Chili

Just in case you were wondering, roasted sweet potatoes with cinnamon and crushed chili (red pepper flakes in America) is a wonderful idea. Fraser and I had it with the chicken curry we made for dinner. After learning how to cook basic roasted potatoes, thanks to Gordon Ramsay, I decided to see if it'd work with sweet potatoes and if that combination of tastes would be good. In short: SUCCESS! They were so good, we ate all of it before it occurred to me that a picture would be helpful with this post.

It goes like this:

1. 1. Peel and cut up sweet potatoes (however many you want to eat) and boil with a little salt for about 10 minutes.
2. Put just enough oil in a rectangular baking dish to coat the bottom, and place it in a hot (200 C/ 400 F) oven for a few minutes to get the oil hot.
3. Drain the sweet potatoes, then toss them with some cinnamon (enough to give each chunk of potato a nice sprinkling) and a dash or 2 of chili flakes (depending on how spicy you like things). Season with a little salt & pepper, then toss with a drizzle of oil to help it all stick.
4. Put the potatoes into the heated pan and carefully toss with the hot oil. Roast until crispy, or until you can't take the smell of deliciousness any longer and must eat them even if they're still a bit soft (30-45 minutes, depending on how crispy you like them). Turn them once or twice while roasting.
5. Remove from the pan with a slotted spoon and spread them on a paper towel to remove any oil that stuck to them.
6. Devour.

P.S. If it won't alienate anyone, I think I'm going to ditch the Tumblr account and just post my recipes and cooking adventures right here, in the mix with everything else I babble about. Tumblr is too buggy, and it's not like I'm over-posting and flooding the Internet with this thing, right?

Realization, Not Resolutions

One year and about 6,000 miles ago, I spent a New Year's Day contemplating just how little the passing of the old year meant to me. Admittedly, I was pretty depressed at the time, and feeling profoundly unconnected and lost. A lot has changed in my life since then, and not one iota of it could have been done if I didn't have the most amazing support network, most notably made up of my mom, my boyfriend, and a few very wonderful friends. That said, I have realized that I still don't believe in New Years. Obviously, I don't mean to say that I don't notice the fact that 2010 is over and 2011 has begun.

No, I mean that even though I'm a little financially better off, with better prospects and more experience, and vastly better off when it comes to my personal life, as I have found a true partner in life, of the kind I'd begun to think didn't actually happen in real life, I still don't place any significance on January 1st. I know a lot of people consider it a good day to evaluate and make resolutions, or start fresh, or wash their hands of the old year, but I am just not one of them.

I actually find more comfort in pretty much ignoring all of that. If the New Year is supposed to be a fresh start, then I find way too many things to be well past their expiration, yet still lingering. However, if I look at the things as happening at random, on their own schedules, then I don't have to be upset about a spoiled celebration, or take it as a bad omen that casts a shadow over the year when an unhappy event happens and isn't resolved before midnight on December 31st.

I have a lot of hopes for the coming year, but I won't get to hoping for them in earnest until some things have been dealt with. Processes that were begun last year have yet to finish, and New Year's Eve itself heralded a family sadness that will not be swiftly relegated to auld lang syne.

In the coming year, I expect a lot of big changes, in addition to the ones that took place in the previous year. A lot of them will be related, though, and in my mind, I haven't parceled them up so that they belong to last year - a thing that is over and done.