Welcome to Dizz Knee Land

I am officially more excited at this moment than I have ever been in my life. I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, getting to go to Disneyland was just about the most exciting thing ever. Now, I have been actively trying to remember any point in my life when I have been as excited, and I just can't think of a single one. I was excited to move to California, but I wasn't counting the days, and there was so much uncertainty tied up with it. I was excited enough to actually jump up and down and squeal when I got a job at the American Cancer Society last summer, but that was still different.

No, I am not going to Disneyland again. It's just that going to Disneyland as a kid comes as close as I can get to describing this feeling of just running headlong toward what I want, with arms outstretched, in full knowledge that it's going to bring me joy, but this is so much more. If you're like me, you grew up knowing about Disneyland and how awesome it's supposed to be, and if you're under the age of ten, it pretty much lives right up to the expectations.

I'm not saying that I have never been excited since. Of course I have. I get excited about a damn fine cup of coffee. I get excited about a shiny new book. I get excited when Livin' On A Prayer is playing on the overhead speakers when I walk into Target. You know, ordinary excited. I even get really excited. I get really excited when my tax return is way bigger than I expected it to be. I get really excited when a friend gets a story published or books a gig to appear on national television. I get really excited when a little kid asks me to read her a story.

Put all of that together, PLUS Disneyland and you might come close to how excited I am right now, as it is officially SIX DAYS! LESS THAN A WEEK! before I get to pick up The Boy from the airport. I know, I know. You could vomit. Too bad I couldn't care less about your gag reflex right now. This is me - physically incapable of maintaining the façade of aloof calm for another minute. It'll probably only get worse. Consider that your fair warning. I grew up knowing how awesome Disneyland is and then getting to experience it while I was still young enough to see only the awesome. Nothing in my adult life (defined here as "period of time since I started dating") led me to expect anything like this.

As an adult, looking at Disneyland, I can see things like how expensive it is, how long the lines are, how many screaming children there are, and how obnoxious the It's A Small World song really is. Looking at what's ahead of me now, I may be aware that nothing and nobody is perfect, and I even know the specific flaws, but then again, that's kinda part of what makes it great. When you're a kid, things need to be simple - either they are good or they are not. Perfection exists for little kids in a way it can't for an adult, so any pretense of it is a turn-off. It's so much more satisfying and magical to see the imperfections and embrace them, knowing it's worth it.

So, basically, if you don't see me posting to Pop Bunker, or responding as quickly to your calls, tweets, texts, and instant messages, don't worry - I've just gone to Dizz Knee Land.

No, YOU grow up!

My friend Chip and I have a long-standing tradition of odd middle-of-the-night conversations. If you're not new to my blather here, you know that this is mostly because we both just happen to be nocturnal by nature and have a Star Wars quote for every occasion, not to mention that we have the kind of friendship that withstands dead relatives who interrupt and the fact that The Great Hemingway vs. Austen Debate will likely never be settled. The 2:00 a.m. phone calls have increased of late, as he's working the graveyard shift, gets lonely, and knows I'm still up.

Last night, Chip and I somehow got to talking about things we'd change about The Way Things Are if we were given our druthers. I said I felt like it would be a good idea if, instead of automatically considering every 18 year-old an adult (and conversely, everyone under that age not an adult), one would be legally regarded an adult once he or she had completed a checklist of accomplishments. That way, exceptional young people who truly understand what it is to be a good citizen could vote, and 30 year-olds who still don't know their asses from holes in the ground could not.
Chip suggested we each come up with a list of 20 things that'd be on our checklists and trade to see how many things overlap, and how many things we've completed from each other's lists. This was to be done quickly, just off the top of the head, so the lists are by no means comprehensive or immune to argument. Here are the results:

My list with his responses*

1. Job: answer phones ...many
2. Job: front desk/direct customer service Almost all my jobs
3. Job: handle money (cashier, payroll, bank teller...) Done
4. Teach - can be in a classroom, a group of boyscouts, whomever. Looking good so far
5. Work in food service Got it
6. Work with the elderly ...not my strong suit
7. Work with children I worked with [a man-child we both know], does that count?
8. Gain understanding of basic rudiments of some art form - a musical instrument, painting, sculpting, acting, whatever Guitar
9. Read at least one entire novel and one entire non-fiction book Uh, yeah! Do we get extra credit for writing one?
10. Known how to change oil, flat tire, & check fluids in your car I heard that in a class somewhere once
11. Sleep outdoors overnight When I drove cross country
12. Plan and execute a meal (and have no one die of food poisoning) good call on the food poisoning.
13. Learn enough of a foreign language to introduce yourself, obtain basic necessities, and understand basic directions to a destination Spanish, though if you mean understand directions, they would have to point...
14. Participate in a team sport (incl. understanding all relevant rules of play and participating long enough to have won and lost at least one bout each) Good one. Football.
15. Attend a religious service of a faith different from your own [yes]
16. Job: retail grocery store. Or my folks' bike shop
17. Be responsible for the health and well-being for an animal (or at least a high-maint. plant) Puppies!
18. Travel outside your familiar community (spend at least a day among those who are not "your people") [yes]
19. Work in public service (at least in an administrative capacity for police, fire, rescue, etc.) Almost done!
20. Speak in public ...I have, in fact, spoken aloud in a communal area.

*edited somewhat for space & relevance, though he'll probably chide me for omitting some of his snark at my expense.

His list with my responses

1. work at a job where you are paid in tips (3 months) Hole in the wall diner.
   
2. work at a job doing manual labor (3 months) Ice rink - if you count having to clean the place, sharpen skates, and do basic maint. as part of the duties of the job as manual labor.
   
3. work in retail (3 months) 2 bookstores
   
4. work a job where you have to wear a uniform (3 months) Umpire...
   
5. wash, dry, and iron your own clothes (1 year) Yep.
   
6. plunge a toilet Yep.
7. have a non-family member as a roommate (6 months) Luke, Joe, Betsy, Emily, Erin, Paul, Delia, Carrsha
   
8. mow you own lawn Tricky - mowed lawns, but I've never owned a lawn
   
9. cook a meal for 4+ people (dishes included) Many, many times.
   
10. drive somewhere more then 8 hours away I think the 63K miles on my [2 year old] car are testament
    
11. support yourself independently (one year) Barely sometimes...
    
12. learn to sew a button Yep.
13. learn to change a tire and your oil I wasn't allowed to drive until I could.
    
14. learn to swim The hard way. Fell in the lake.
    
15. learn CPR Yep.
16. spend a week in a city where you know no one Does that count traveling companion? If not, then yes. I definitely didn't know anyone who hadn't come with me in London, Quebec, or Paris. It's unlikely I'd ever move to a place where I didn't know anyone, and nearly equally as unlikely that I'd travel for a week-long trip to such a place alone. If I were going for a day or so, I might, but I'd almost certainly take a friend for a week-long trip.
    
17. ride some form of public transportation On two continents
    
18. spend a night in the hospital (ER counts) No, not unless infancy counts. I have spent an entire day to very late at night, then come back subsequent days when a friend was on suicide watch.
    
19. Get hit (play a contact sport, get in a fight, car accident, something like that) Hockey
20. keep a pet or plant alive for 2 years (no cheating) Yes, plants and shared responsibility for pets.

Outcome: He needs to brush up on his Spanish & work with the elderly. I need to suffer some grievous health issue and be more independent. We did both include notes that allowed for things like physical limitations and living situation. Also, it seems like both of our lists are focused on self-sufficiency and the ability to understand those from different walks of life, so that one might be a more compassionate citizen who makes choices motivated by more than pure self-interest. This is hardly surprising to me since he and I have managed to become and remain very good friends who have widely differing origins, experiences, and career paths ourselves.

What do you think? What would be on your list?